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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22904251">Are You Here With Me?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaikajo/pseuds/Kaikajo'>Kaikajo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Miraculous Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Romance, THANKS DAD, and some everlasting trauma and scars on Adrien, hope ya'll like it!, some good ol'</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:27:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22904251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaikajo/pseuds/Kaikajo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where Hawkmoth is revealed.</p>
<p>Set in college, about 4 years after Hawkmoth is revealed (they were in high school when it occurred).</p>
<p>Adrien is walking back to his apartment for a "surprise" (not really 'cause he knows about it) birthday party being thrown by his friends, his old high school classmates. It's four years after the catastrophe of his father being revealed as Hawkmoth, which leaves lasting scars and trauma on Adrien.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir &amp; Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Are You Here With Me?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hii! I wrote this back in 2017 but never published it. Decided to revise it and let it out into the world! Hope you all enjoy it &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Adrien walked quickly along the sidewalk, his coat tucked over one arm, the other holding a black umbrella to shield himself from the rain. He kept his head down as he tried to avoid eye contact, stiffening up whenever someone got too close or whenever a car passed by him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could hear their snickers, their quiet voices, their whispers dripped with venom, the red lips of the reporter that tilted her lips up in a smirk, a look of disgust.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Are you a monster like your father, Adrien?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been four years since Hawkmoth was revealed. Half beaten up and bloody, the fight was a blur even to this day. He had a lingering feeling that past year that his father was Hawkmoth, a gnawing feeling that resurfaced to his mind at night when he couldn’t sleep, but he couldn’t accept it. Adrien still shivered at the mere thought of him. Nausea was always a constant state for him since then, every time the memory resurfaced back to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s him, the son...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien whipped his head back, staring at the two high school girls whispering to each other, stealing glances at him. He glared back down at the ground, hunching his shoulders over as he tried to make himself smaller. The rain began pelting his umbrella faster, harder, until it drowned out the sound of passing cars and distant music from the nearby stores. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After he was caught, everything that he feared came true.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An outcast, unloved, alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Countless times he came back to an empty house drizzled with graffiti at the front, the words </span>
  <em>
    <span>monster </span>
  </em>
  <span>plastered on the walls in red.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still hasn’t visited his father since then, who earned a lifetime sentence in jail. Adrien wasn’t sure if he’d ever visit.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Water splashed up against him from a large truck drowning his coat, button up and pants in murky water. He paused, assessing the damage before giving out a low sigh. It was his favorite white button up. More snickers could be heard around him. Adrien tightened his grip on the handle of his umbrella and continued walking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A child ran into him shortly after, sporting a yellow raincoat and red boots. Adrien softened as the kid let out a series of apologizes, before his mother grabbed his wrist and snapped him back. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated, over and over. She kept averting her eyes, as if she was fearful of Adrien.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine, really.” Adrien brought his hand up, but she flinched back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled again before dragging her kid along.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien turned back slightly, watching them disappear into the rain. He stared at his hand, watching it twitch against the cold. A nasty scar cut across the palm of his hand, pale against his skin. It was large, blooming from the intersection between his thumb and forefinger, to the other end of his palm. Aside from that injury, she was probably startled by the loss of his ring finger on his right hand, a casualty during the fight against Hawkmoth. The moment he snipped off the finger that carried the ring, he separated from Plagg just as quick.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A flurry of emotions had run through him at that moment—fear, pain, utter horror—he tried to hide his face in a pathetic attempt of concealing his identity after a second too long of staring at the love of his life and their ultimate enemy.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure what was more amusing—seeing Ladybug’s reaction, blue eyes as large as the sea, or his father’s, mouth ajar. Not that it was a time to crack a joke, he remembered whispering, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder if a cat’s paw has nine lives too?”</span>
  </em>
  <span>  before blacking out. When he came to again, Gabriel was in handcuffs. He snarled like an angry animal, rabid and ferocious. Adrien could do nothing but watch him unravel at their feet, screaming at her to give him their miraculouses, clawing at them with bloodied fingers and bloodshot eyes. Ladybug didn’t flinch at his performance, merely concentrating on wrapping Adrien’s wound. Her fingers shook, maybe from soaking in the rain for too long or from the thousands of thoughts, he imagined, running through her head. She didn’t avert her gaze when he looked at her. For some reason, shame burned on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>It was my dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he whispered. Ladybug lowered her eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Hawkmoth is my dad</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” he said again, a little louder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ladybug brushed his wet bangs out of his face, leaning in close enough to obscure the image of his father in handcuffs and from the rain from pelting his bruised cheek. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“</span><em><span>You’re going to be alright, Kitty.</span></em> <em><span>You’re going to be okay. I’m here for you.”</span></em><span>  She squeezed his shoulder lightly. “</span><em><span>Trust me.</span></em><span>” </span></p>
<p>
  <span>When he woke up again in the hospital, the door outside of his room was being crowded with reporters, cameras and flashes blinded him when the door burst open. Most of the questions that were being bombarded at him were easily lost in the blaze of other questions, but only one stood out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>How does it feel to be the child of a monster?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After that question, Adrien couldn’t remember what happened after. The next time he came to, the room was deadly quiet, and he was left alone with his ruminating, screaming thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien jumped as his phone buzzed against his leg, pulling him out of the memory that he tried so hard to erase. Reluctantly, he looked at the screen of his phone, revealing a smiling, cheeky Marinette. He let it ring several times before picking it up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Her voice was warm, familiar, and comfortable. “Are you almost here?” Shuffles could be heard on the other side as she told someone to shush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m around the corner,” Adrien responded, a small smile settled on his lips. He could see his apartment from where he was. After the arrest of Gabriel and the disappearance of Natalie, Adrien couldn’t stand to live in the massive mansion by himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Perfect, let me know when you’ve entered the building!” She giggled before hanging up the phone. Adrien smiled wider as he stared down at her picture on his phone before putting it back into his pocket.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I mean it’s only fair if you see who I am, right</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Ladybug asked. After all the reporter mayhem, she visited him later that evening by entering through the window. He hadn’t said anything and merely nodded, almost as if he were in a dream.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shuffled around nervously, pacing around the room before stopping directly in front of him. She retained her nervous smile as she detransformed, the red light traveled up her body in a flurry of blinding light.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was the first good thing that happened to him since their battle with Hawkmoth. He burst into tears right on the spot. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so glad it’s you,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” he whispered between sobs. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m so happy it’s you</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Adrien pulled the keys out of his pocket, pushing it into the lock, before pausing. He could hear more laughter and giggles behind the door, more </span>
  <em>
    <span>shh’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> echoed behind the door as he opened the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Surprise! Happy Birthday!” Marinette threw her hands up in the air the moment he could see her. Familiar faces and voices resonated behind her as he saw their beaming faces. Ayla threw confetti and Nino popped a bottle of champagne, narrowly missing Adrien’s head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marinette stood in the middle, eyes shining and smile wide. Excited and happy to see him. Not fear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it really a surprise if we like, called him beforehand?” Rose inquired quietly, amidst the quieting echo of their voices. Laughter rolled around the room, Marinette slightly blushing as she tried to explain her reasoning.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude—why are you soaking wet?” Nino placed the champagne on a nearby table, concern edged at his voice as he stepped closer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now Adrien was blushing from embarrassment. “Oh, I accidentally… stepped in a puddle.” He laughed lightly. He never told any of them about what he encountered on a daily basis—it would only worry them, and attention only worsened the panic rising in him. “I’ll g-go get changed—” He didn’t look at anyone, only staring down at the shoes of his friends, his old highschool classmates. He caught sight of Marinette’s familiar pink shoes turning toward him as he rounded the corner to his room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stood there, alone. The quiet pitter patter of raindrops on glass. The thumping of droplets against the roof. He exhaled, unclenching his fist. A quiet knock interrupted the systematic thrumming around him. When he opened the door, the sound of soft voices and  mutters drifted into his room. Music had been turned on, set on low.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marinette stood there, in her cute, black polkadot dress, hair spun up in a loose bun.  “Can I come in?” Her hand was held up in mid knock. Adrien wanted to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, but instead he adjusts himself to let her in. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Without a moment to waste, after the door shut quietly behind them, Marinette placed a hand on his cheek. Her warmth didn’t make him flinch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You look so far away, Kitty. Are you here with me?” It was a phrase she used whenever he was too far into the past, something to bring him back home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He smiled, placing his hand over hers. “I’m here.” He whispered that phrase constantly in his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m here. I’m here. I’m here</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
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